Train children, not in the way they would go

Prodigal Child

Proverbs 22:6

 

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Prov 22:6). This proverb has brought encouragement, hope, anxiety and guilt to countless parents who have faced the uncertainty and frustration of child-rearing. It has provided encouragement to those responsible parents who, after working to balance family, relationships and careers, come across reassurance that all of
their labors inevitably will not be in vain.

 



This verse has also provided light of hope to those who, having brought up their child in the best way they knew, have had their hearts broken as their child rebels and goes down the wrong direction. They fear under the pain that God identified to be one of the deepest sorrows of human existence (Mt 23:37; Hos 11:1- 2; Prov 10:1). To those parents this verse gives expectations that when he is old the prodigal will return. Another group of young parents, vulnerable to daily feelings of inadequacy, experiences intensive anxiety over the possible long-term deterioration they see themselves doing to their child. If the child does go astray, this verse seems to point the finger of guilt at them.


Trained here is the obligation of parents to study the nature and predisposition of their children and to train them accordingly. This is in harmony with Paul's instructions to the Ephesians and Colossians (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21). Instead of giving all the emphasis to a demanding standard to be applied "indiscriminately," each child's "character" is to be closely considered and the teaching is to be done so as to achieve the greatest possible adaptation to the child's need.


The scriptures do not teach the infeasibility of apostasy; Were it taught here that a child, having been properly taught, "cannot fail" to be faithful in adulthood, it would be in conflict with many, many passages asserting that anyone can fall short of the grace of God and be lost (1 Chron. 28:9; Rom. 11:22; Gal. 5:4.)

Solomon deals with the fruits of training in old age; and, the meaning is, that an individual who has been trained properly in the principles of truth and has lived in harmony therewith until he reaches old age will not then abandon that which has become "second nature" to him. Seldom indeed do people who have followed the course of rectitude and devotion to God abandon this life-long mode of living in their declining years.

Comments By An English Writer On Proverbs 22:6

I have not found a finer statement than the following observations penned by an English writer named "Clarkson" many years ago regarding the principles involved in Proverbs 22:6, and I adopt it as teaching the truth on this matter:

"Not the very best training of the very wisest parents in the world can positively secure goodness and wisdom in their children. For when they have done everything in their power, there must remain that element of individuality which will choose its own course and form its own character. Our children may choose to reject the truth we teach them, and to slight the example we set them, and to despise the counsel we give them. In the will of every child there is a power which cannot be forced, which can only be won. Therefore:

(1) Let all parents seek, beside training their children in good habits, to win their hearts to that Divine Wisdom in whose friendship and service alone will they be safe. Where sagacity may fail, affection will triumph. Command and persuasion are the two weapons which parental wisdom will do its best to wield.

(2) Let all children understand that for their character and their destiny they must themselves be responsible. All the very worthiest and wisest influences of home will lead to no good result if they oppose to them a rebellious spirit, if they do not receive them in the spirit of docility. There is but one gate of entrance into life, and that is the personal, individual acceptance of Jesus Christ as the Lord and Savior of the spirit. The parent may lead his child up to it, but the child must pass through it of its own accord."